It’s D-Day today and to commemorate the soldiers that gave their lives here is a video that combines two of my favorite things-SEC football and US Troops kicking ass. Derek Dooley is hilarious and historically accurate at the same time. 

-Sherwood Blount

Support our troops

Ok….like who wrote this script for the commercial and thought it was cool to ruin the rest of this little girl’s life? You just know she’s going to be tormented when she is older for “liking the big black ones.” Cool…you just turned this chick into a lifetime target of mudsharking jokes. I wonder if the kid with her was thinking “damn they casted me with a hoodrat.” Typical environmentalist libs.

I would do my own write up on this video but the one from the stool is perfect so I’ll just copy and paste that:

 ”I don’t even know what to say.  Like this video says everything that is needed to be said about soccer and the people who play it.  Straight pussfest.  Sad part is that this guy is probably considered a braver version of Pat Tillman in his country.  Could probably do whatever he wants. He could go out and slay any hot hoochies he chooses but he would easily prefer some anal beads (known in the soccer world as Ronaldo’s Rocks) administered by Landon Donovan, a wild pack of Brazilian men, and this guy. Por favor indeed.” 

I can’t believe they let this clown on the course. That’s what you get for letting Amateur Public Links kids on tour. Fucking geed.

I can’t believe they let this clown on the course. That’s what you get for letting Amateur Public Links kids on tour. Fucking geed.

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”

She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.”

If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between conservative and liberal or progressive or neocon I’m all ears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended.”

Well, I forwarded it to you.

(via kaylaadpi)
Hippie Liberal Dirt Wizards

Holy shit. If we could just cordon off all Mac stores, Starbucks, and Urban Outfitters I would be approximately 40 percent happier about life in general. Include everyone that has attended a PowerShift Conference in the last 3 years and it jumps to an unprecedented 65 percent. Don’t ask me how I gauge this, but I can almost guarantee it is a more accurate statistic than whatever bullshit the MSM is feeding you. Not only do these skinny jean patchouli smelling libs blame everything on the previous administration they also are actually trying to claim that Barack Obama has done something good for our country. I’ve always been a sports fan so I tend to relate things to what I know best, just try and take this journey with me for a minute: a young up-and-coming quarterback that has been in the NFL for a couple of years gets traded to a struggling team to take over for a retiring veteran that has been under heavy criticism. In his initial press conference he promises to change the team culture and work-ethic and is offering to implement new offensive additions to the playbook. He guarantees victory and an overall better team. After three seasons the team still sucks, they can’t win a goddamn game and the fucking Bills are almost ahead of them in the standings. After the end of the third shitty season in a row the quarterback gets in front of the media and tells them that the reason for the low level of success is due to the shitty offensive line he inherited and the general losing tradition he inherited from the previous quarterback and coaching staff. Following me here??? If you think the media would let him get away with that bullshit for 5 seconds you’re out of your fucking mind and you need to stop listening to Keith fucking Olberman. 

That being said the GOP needs a resolution and I can’t say I’m exactly thrilled with how our media (one fucking channel) is handling it. Get Sarah Palin off the motherfucking television, she can’t win, I promise you they will tear her more assholes than her porn star impersonator on Brazzers has had torn in the last 5 years. We have one (maybe 2) legitimate candidates, and despite what you say they are not weak. If you have 600 million bucks in the bank, won Governorship in the most liberal state in the Union, saved the olympics, have a J.D. M.B.A from Harvard, and literally have not one social or legal skeleton in your closet you’re not a weak fucking candidate, especially when you look like Mitt Romney does. Tell me he just doesn’t look like he was born to live at 1600 Pennsylvania???? The other guy with a shot is Pawlenty but I think he will end up as the VP candidate if it’s not Marco Rubio. If we want to beat “the anointed one” to quote Sean Hannity, we need to put someone up there that can really beat this socialist fuck. If not I’m accepting donations in order to buy Mandarin for Rosetta Stone.

"Drunk liberal hating rant." Amen.

Should be soon…after I finish the northerner/soccer hating rant.

And i hate when i look under the football tag and see some jarhead gorilla that wants to tackle another jar head gorilla. Comment on soccer again and watch 99.9999% of the world jump your ass

Hey is your knee ok? If not spray some of that magic shit in a can that your euro-trash trainers carry around. And FYI 99.9999% of the world is in fucking poverty so suck my dick. Oh and let me add a thank you…the term Jarhead is actually a source of pride for real Americans. 

-Sherwood Blount (but you can just keep calling me jarhead)

Seriously?

You can imagine my rage when I looked under the tag #Football and found soccer. Is this real life? Just to be clear I hate soccer for two reasons, one being the faking of injuries…that shit needs to stop….number two is because the US isn’t the best at it and the way I see it if we aren’t #1 then it’s not an accurate gauge of athletic ability. Another thing- the reason we suck at soccer is because our best athletes play football, basketball, and baseball, we are drawing from a talent pool of kids we used to beat the shit out of in middle school.

WTF

What the fuck? Stop using “frat” as a tag for your dick pics.